Friday, June 21, 2013

The Art of Lawn Mowing

Yes, you've read that right.  I'm thinking about starting a movement.  Creative lawn mowing.  This is my story - you can thank me for my brilliance later.

I hate mowing the lawn.  I have spent the last 10 (post divorce) years avoiding it.  I've either lived in apartments or homes with sand dunes for lawns, minus the view of the golf course.  I have also had child labor, for which I'm very proud.  Alas, said children now have outgrown the $10 per week for completing 10 chores thing.  Now they have jobs that allow them to pay to put gas in the car (mine), so they can go to the mall and buy things they don't need.  New hubby works full time and allows me to stay home and pursue my dreams.  Cool, but I have to mow the lawn while I'm dreaming.  Ugh.

So this morning I was out there, bright and early, to get the job done and out of the way.  I was mowing along, when I noticed my neighbors beautifully cut grass.  Those nice clean strips of lawn, mowed in perfect lines.  Yeah.  My lawn doesn't look like that.  When I'm finished with mowing, my lawn looks more like aliens landed in the middle of the night and created crop circles.  I can't mow straight to save my life. It's not in my skill set.

So, and here's the brilliant part, I thought "What if I mow my lawn artfully.  Create flowers, birds, that sort of thing?"  That way, my haphazard mowing style can become art.  People will be drawn to the inspired, completely green, lawn art.  The press will show up at my door -- I'll be famous!  I can patent the idea and become rich!  "How innovative," I think.

Now, if I can just convince my diagonally-mowing neighbors that "different" doesn't equal zoning law violation...

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